I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
