Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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