Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
