It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Found your dick twin last night
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
