i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it was like eating out sand paper
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
