I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
