who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
And then he peed in my hair
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