Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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