I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
