Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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