16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
