VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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