you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
