I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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