If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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