Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
