i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
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