The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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