I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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