i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
