its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
