hell yes lets make some ravioli
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
