I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
