And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
