Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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