new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
