Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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