Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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