ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize