Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
