i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
