dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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