i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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