The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
