I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I love having hate sex.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
