I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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