why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
