problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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