Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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