She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
