im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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