How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Sacagawea was the original milf.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How does one acquire holy water?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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