I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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