I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
be right there i have to get my cape
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
