she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
how does that bad decision feel?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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