I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
