i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
