..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
