You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
