Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
