Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
