How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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