I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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