Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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