You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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