I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
