I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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