something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
